Guest Post: Quote From Colonel L. Blankfein Jessup Before a Commission of Inquiry

23 Apr

From 1-2 aka @onetwoko

“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth. Son, we live in a
country with an investment gap. And that gap needs to be filled by men with money. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Middle Class Consumer?

Goldman Sachs has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You weep for Lehman and you curse derivatives. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that Lehman’s death, while tragic, probably saved the financial system. And that Goldman’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves pension
funds.

You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want us to fill that investment gap. You need us to fill that gap.

“We use words like credit default swaps, collateralized debt obligation, and securitization… We use these words as the backbone of a life spent investing in something. You use ’em as a punchline. We have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to a commoner who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very credit we provide, and then questions the manner in which we provide it!

We’d rather you just said thank you and paid your taxes on time.

Otherwise, we suggest you get an account and start trading. Either way, we don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”

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14 Responses to “Guest Post: Quote From Colonel L. Blankfein Jessup Before a Commission of Inquiry”

  1. Kid Dynamite April 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    continuing…

    “Did you order the suspension of mark to market?”
    “I did what i thought was right!”
    “DID YOU ORDER THE SUSPENSION OF MARK TO MARKET?”
    “YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!”

  2. 1-2 April 23, 2010 at 4:40 pm #

    Well played, Kid D.

  3. Comfortably Smug April 23, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

    Good work @onetwoko and KD

  4. Morgan_03 April 23, 2010 at 9:25 pm #

    Nicely Done! laffed my ass off

  5. juslo April 26, 2010 at 12:57 am #

    maybe it’s more apt to use “Son, we live in a
    country with a LIQUIDITY CRISIS. And that CRISIS needs to be prevented by men with money.” More current/topical to that time.

    but either way, it’s brilliant.

  6. TGFD April 27, 2010 at 10:39 am #

    That was quite a speech, Colonel; however, TGFD has to wonder…How in foggy hell did all those “men with money” ever get a “backbone of life” and manage to “save those pension funds” and “provide that blanket of credit” before the invention of all those “credit default swaps, collateralized debt obligations, and derivatives”?

    You know, like 15 years ago.

    Main Street understands that just fine.

  7. Ricky April 29, 2010 at 4:09 am #

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  9. Dominik May 2, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

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  10. Danny Black May 7, 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    TGFD, 15 years ago all these products existed. Depending on what you mean by a derivative, derivatives have been around for a couple of thousand years.

    When exactly did Main Street do fine without Wall Street? 16th Century maybe?

    • TGFD May 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm #

      TGFD here.

      Danny…From what I’ve read in articles published over the past several years, the first credit derivative (CDO or a CDS) was “invented” in 1994 by some douchebag who infested some back-office cube somewhere in the financial world. As TGFD recalls, the specific article was written by a former official from one of the 3 credit-rating outfits, an official who was fired for gross incompetence in 2008. You know, for giving out too many AAA ratings to too many turd bundles.

      Also, from what I’ve read, the derivatives market has swelled from something like $900 Billion in 2000 to $214 Trillion today as a result of all that financial innovation from 1999 & 2000.

      Dude…If TGFD made one error in my previous post, it would be the omission of the word “other” before the word “derivatives”.

      1000 years? Get a grip on reality. CDSs & CDOs? Maybe like 16 years.

      TGFD never said that Main St doesn’t need Wall St. What Main St doesn’t need or want is an uncontrolled market of gambling for naked derivatives with OPM.

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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. ‘Goldman Sachs Has A Greater Responsibility Than You Can Possibly Fathom’ - Deal Journal - WSJ - April 23, 2010

    […] famous for his “You can’t handle the truth” defense. Deal Journal doesn’t know who the author is. Or what his or her intent is. But it made us laugh, so here it is: You want the truth? You […]

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